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July 17th, 2009
12:03 pm - Lay off the haterade and love somebody.
I don't know how many of you have heard or are following the recent controversy over at KLBJ AM, but I haven't been this angry about something in a long time. During one of their talk shows, the subject of illegal aliens came up and stirred a conversation where the W word (an ethnic slur comparable to the N word) was thrown around not once, but THIRTY-FOUR TIMES. The DJs were suspended for two-weeks without pay, and offered a half-ass apology where it was essentially said that he (Don) was sorry we didn't get his sarcasm. 0_o
This word. I hate this word. It's so loaded with disgust that every time I hear it I can still hear it the way I heard it flung at me as a kid. Followed by, "Run for the border!" and other racially motivated insults. I don't get it. We have an African American president. It's 2009. How is this still happening? And is it me, or have we seen a rise in the Mexi-hate lately?
Well, on top of submitting a hate-speech complaint to the FCC (which I encourage you to do, as well.),* I called and wrote councilman Mike Martinez, whom I knew was one of the Hispanic leaders taking a stance on this, as well as the radio station's program managers. This is too progressive of a city to stand behind hate speech being broadcast on our airwaves. It's disgusting.
All this anger is fueling something important to me — getting off my ass and start volunteering and getting involved with the local Hispanic community. I may not speak the best Spanish, but I sure as hell can write the right people and get. shit. done.
* * *
I'm home again with a headache. This hasn't been a good week for me. And with all that's going on with Daniel's dad, I hate that I'm not at 100% right now. Hell, I'd settle for being 80%.
* * *
I got to babysit for a couple of hours last night, a hat I only wear for special friends at times of need — and baby Amsden is such a ball of JOY that it was a blast. I've never met a more mellow kid. I don't know enough about babies so I called Alicia and asked if they needed to be burped after feeding at six months old (they do). I changed a diaper and he fell asleep being rocked on my chest. It was pretty cool. Pretty scary, but pretty cool.
* * *
So much other stuff has happened, but these narcotics are kicking in and I'll have to update the rest once I wake back up.
♡
* You'll need this info for the FCC complaint, should you choose to submit a complaint (DO IT!!):
Show: Todd and Don Show
Time: 10AM
Date 7/14/09
KLBJ AM 590
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July 9th, 2009
08:12 am - Fabula - Fae - Elphaba - Elphie
In preparation for the show, I've been reading Wicked and I haven't been able to put it down, which has caused me great consternation when passing out from my newly raised dose of nerve meds. I'm halfway through and even though I know the fate of Fabula, it's breaking my heart to hear how she got from A to evil.
* * *
It's Thursday already. I don't know how that happened. I have too much to catch up on at work and the nights are flying by. At least it's only one more day until Friday. That's a good sign, right?
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July 6th, 2009
09:35 pm - Glenda is a fucking whore.
I speak, of course, of the so called "good witch" who glamoured me into spending ridiculous amounts of cash money in the Wizard of Oz slot machine this weekend. If she were real I would shove the entire yellow brick up her proverbial road.
Aside from that, this weekend was a blast. Hanging with the family in Bossier City/Shreveport, watching the fireworks above the water from our hotel window @ the Horseshoe, great food and great memories. I love them. I also got to take Goose out on his first road trip. I have to say that is one smooth ride. I had Tori on the long-shuffle and big windows to peer out at the wide road. I'm still a bigger fan of flying, but I'll take what I can get.
* * *
Bad news on the English family front, and I'll disclose more on that as I'm able to. But it looks like we're going to be heading across the pond at the end of this month, again in Sept. for D's Dad and Mary's wedding and then again in November for Mehron and Annabel's. That's SIX very necessary round-trip tickets betwixt us two. 0_o At least we're going to be banking some miles and hopefully by the November wedding we'll be qualified for an overdue upgrade. It's important to be there, though, and we wouldn't have it any other way and Daniel will get some much-deserved family time.
* * *
My head is hurting in different places. I'm pretty sure it's nerve-pain signaling healing, since parts of my head that were numb are becoming less numb. It feels like a teeny-tiny ant is simultaneously biting the scalp at the individual hair follicle and pulling the individual hair at that scalp point. A lot. At different places on my head.
So at this point in my recovery, I'm at scalp pain plus exhaustion. The exhaustion getting less extreme and the bone ache diminishing slowly.
* * *
Saturday is the Wild Cards reunion out in Wimberly, minus Kai and Jay. I'm really, REALLY looking forward to this. I was almost tempted to attend the actual class reunion (multi-class reunion @ Karma Lounge) on Friday, but I took a two-minute look at the RSVPs and decided that was enough reminiscing right there. Kind of blows my mind that I graduated 16 years ago, it simultaneously feels like longer and shorter. I may still get carded, but these days I'm feeling old on the inside (nothing makes you feel your age or older than recovering from major surgery and being sober).
But on the bright side, I'm getting better!
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July 2nd, 2009
09:47 am - mama say, mama sa, mama kossa
Things I've seen lately:
* Transformers @ the IMAX — SOMEONE wasn't thinking very clearly when SOMEONE decided REALLY LOUD sound FX were a good idea for SOMEONE'S brain recovery
* Away We Go @ Alamo — Beautiful. I cried at one scene I didn't think I was supposed to and was flooded with some emotions that I thought were dealt with. Apparently my urge to be untethered to life's roots so I can explore the unknowns is not gone and done. This makes me ache in my heart a little bit because I know that once we have a baby, this freedom will be completely lost. He and I talk about going and doing and lifting roots and traveling all the time. It's the "baby makes three" that I know will make this harder, if not impossible.
* The Entirety of TRUE BLOOD — I'm in love with this show. SOOOKEEEEHH! I bought season 1 on Blu-Ray and then signed up for HBO immediately to catch season 2. So good. SOOOO GOOOOOD!
Things I've done lately:
* Took back my Rummy championship title.
* My Empire squashed the Rebel Alliance in a thrilling game of Star Wars Monopoly.
* Learned a good chunk of the Thriller dance
* Fallen in love with Bond No. 9, Eau de New York. And have started collecting Bond "bon bons" and am wearing them every day. There's nothing like good perfume to make you feel like dancing.
* Went to three different doctors for three different things and feel as normal as one could in my position. Had to get back on Lortab, and am back trying to get off of it again, replete with leg cramps and sleeplessness. That's never fun.
Other things:
I will start co-hosting the Cipher (our client-side and agency weekly video broadcast) today, which is cool. And I'll start head-writing the script next week and editing the news blurbs, etc. That's really cool and an unexpected turn of career events. I'm still doing everything else I do, but now with added awesome.
We're filming our Michael Jackson tribute today, in total S\W fashion. We did the Cosby Show tribute last week. I love my job like WHOA.
I leave to Bossier City tomorrow with the Fam for our family gambling trip. If I can stay away from my Lortab tonight, I can drink tomorrow. FINGERS CROSSED PEOPLE. Bitch needs a drink when she gets her slots on!
We decorated boxes of Cheerios for Justin's birthday:
Here's my Bond No. 9 Bon Bons:
And the streets of New Orleans has a message for you and me and everyone it sees:
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June 24th, 2009
06:57 am - Here in my head
I'm never up early enough for the sunrise or BBC news (channel 268) but this morning I'm getting to toast them both with a cup of PG Tips and gratitude.
I'm typing this update on my old Dell laptop, and the keys feel so heavy and so different than my work Air that unceremoniously and suddenly died in the middle of my nightly noodling. And I don't mean it sputtered or gave me warning signals or anything. It just went "tick" and left the planet. Nothing I can do to resuscitate it (and my stupid old Dell just died halfway through this paragraph and luckily restored the draft) and I believe our systems admin is currently on vacation. Good times with electronics.
I haven't had a good week, headache-wise. I've had to start back taking more Lortab, after all I did to get off them, which blows.
BUT! I *do* get to see Michael Bay blow shit up on the IMAX tonight. That's good. And it's Wednesday. That's good, too.
So ... no matter how much everything inside me is telling me to go back to bed and try again tomorrow, I'm going to make today fabulous. Because, you know ... that sunrise was pretty damn spectacular, this tea is the perfect temperature and there's people talking with gorgeous British accents on the telly. And that's a start.
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June 23rd, 2009
10:28 am - I bitch because I love.
So I woke up today with this RAGING headache that came out of nowhere. So I decided to med up and work from home but there is a team of evil construction workers banging and drilling and hammering and doing whatever it is they're doing that's SO GOD DAMNED LOUD and it looks like "Working from Home" isn't going to work today.
Also, said construction workers are working on a scaffold that sits directly in front of my windows. We have a tall, top window in our shower. Guess who's going to work dirty today? It's fine if we get in our shower before 8 a.m. but noooooooooooooooooooo. Sleep in and you're screwed.
Coconut lotion and Lilly Pulitzer Wink overload — here I come.
* * *
Went to my lady doc for my annual yesterday. That's NEVER fun. I wish men had a frame of reference to how invasive and strange and FML that procedure invokes. And the talking, there's always some sort of small talk to fill the "splayed open like a lobster" time. I love my gyno. Seriously, she's awesome. But being awesome doesn't make it any more enjoyable. Neither does warming the speculum and using extra gliding agent (although, thanks, it's the thought that counts). Here's a message to gynos everywhere — LEAVE SOME TISSUES OR TP OR SOMETHING OTHER THAN SCRATCHY PAPER TOWELS OUT WHEN YOU LEAVE THE ROOM. How do you expect us to clean up the mess you left with all that lube?
#$@^(%_(#@*)
* * *
Also, I recently went a little crazy with Ebay and Sephora and I need to stop ordering senseless shit. How much perfume can one person wear without getting shanked by office mates? NOT MUCH.
Here's some joy. Daniel took this in New Orleans:
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June 14th, 2009
08:27 am - Listening to This American Life
And in this episode (Go Ask Your Father), one story talks about father identity and the speaker details a clue to his problem was that he never felt part of his family, in which Ira Glass says, "Everybody feels this at one point or another when they're a kid."
Did you?
I have never in my life felt like this. My family identity is an overwhelming force in my life and was a path that was always laid in front of me or a giant breathing down my neck. In either instance, I never felt displaced or not completely Ornelas in any way. It's not just my parents and us girls, either. It's us, and all the nieces. We're so close we overlap, in our faces, gestures, temperaments, habits and laughter. it's a gift. But a gift that will shatter our hearts when that day comes when el Don y la Doña cross over.
Which makes me wonder if this is a product of family closeness, culture or gender. Or a culture-gender conglomerate.
And I wonder if this is something I'll be lucky enough to pass along when I have a family of my own.
♡
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June 11th, 2009
09:21 pm - "It's like I have ESPN or something. "
I just discovered the correlation between massive storm pressure and the "OMFG that hurts!" in my head. Especially in the numb part where my nerves aren't all reconnected yet.
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June 10th, 2009
09:19 am - Some days IDGAF.
And those days the makeup stays off the face and I wear BROWN and bitches should just be happy I showered.
I'm 4 days off the Lortab and bloated. But I've lost enough lbs to fit into my second-tier skinny jeans. My first tier ones fit, but not comfortably yet.
To counteract this, ( here's a list of things that make me happy today, cut for pix of said happiness: )
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June 7th, 2009
04:03 pm - "It's four in the morning ..."
But clearly not the end of December, marked by the week-long bout of 97-, 98-, 99-degree weather ahead of us.
I can't sleep. I was exhausted all day today (and yesterday) but I didn't have to supplement my regular med with the narcotic med. First time since I got out of the hospital that I haven't had to take the narcotic pain reliever. Awesome right??
NOT SO.
Not taking it has plagued me with restless legs that ache so much that it's literally after 4 a.m. and I'm still not asleep. I tossed and turned for HOURS before I escaped to the couch in effort to not wake Daniel up. This is not going to bode well with my work schedule tomorrow.
I should be celebrating an almost pain-free day (the ache was still there, but dull enough to not warrant the med), but being exhausted and not being able to sleep (EVIL IRONY) is delaying celebration.
FML.
Edited to say: The sky is turning blue and it's past six in the morning and I'm miserable with sleep exhaustion. Yet, my body still won't do it.
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June 4th, 2009
01:32 pm - Side-Effects and Newsbits
Went to the doc again today, wants to change up my meds. I think it's because I wasn't being clear enough about my symptoms and it's always so rushed (whether it is or I just think it is) when I get in there and I have my questions detailed on a piece of paper and everything but I left feeling like, "hmm." So, I called back and explained everything to the nurse practitioner on the phone who said she'd run it by the doctor if I can stay on the meds I'm on now and give it a couple of weeks to see if they're working or not.
Changing meds makes for a few days of hell and then my body has to get used to a whole slew of new side-effects and it SUCKS. Also, and yes, I know this is completely silly and vain — the pill combo I'm on now makes me have no appetite. Which has never, ever happened to me before. I've never understood people who "forget to eat" or can go to a restaurant and eat three bites and be done (yes, you. I'm looking at you.) but now I get it. And I'm not quite ready to let this bonus side effect go just yet. These pills work as well as any others. I still hurt, but I can live with some hurt.
* * * * * * *
I love my new car like WHOA. Having a good stereo system makes all the difference in the world. I'm singing along everywhere I go and feeling safe with all my awesome airbags. I can't wait to take a trip in it. Maybe to the coast to visit family? Maybe to Dallas for a weekend of museums? Maybe all of the above once I can stay awake all day without crashing and napping.
* * * * * * *
Heartbroken over that AirFrance flight. It's spooky how much of a mystery it is. And heartbroken again over Dr. Tiller. It's the nonsensical sadness of this world that frightens the quiet spots in me. I need to stop listening to NPR in the mornings. Or, at least, start drinking again. ;)
I want this, SO BAD:
* * * * * * *
Daniel's birthday is tomorrow! We'll be celebrating with a bowling party and I think I hit the Best Wife Ever category with this year's pressies. More tomorrow.
♡
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May 29th, 2009
06:51 pm - Week of Shit.
All week, I haven't felt this bad since a few weeks after the surgery. I can't call it a relapse, because that's not the word for it, but I definitely hit a wall. Going 100mph and pushing my body to act like it did before the surgery culminated in my body pushing back. Hard.
So I called my doctor and asked how long this pain and exhaustion will last because I'm SO FUCKING TIRED of it already and I got the stock answer of, "Everyone heals differently." I've also been reminded that it's been less than two months since the surgery and maybe I shouldn't try to be billy bad ass when there's still a lot of healing to do.
Cut to me breaking down at work because I can't concentrate AT ALL (something that tends to help when you're PROOFING) and I'm so tired and I know there's no way I can be there all day (I was supposed to come off half days). I reached the last straw mentally when Amy Awesome was all, "What's that in your ear?" I reached up to my ear and a lump of dried, black blood fell into my hand. WHAT?! I call my doctors again because, c'mon, WTF just happened?! They have no answer for this, except to murmur possible agreement that it could have been pooled in my ear since the surgery. This answers why I've had an earache for two months and why everyday when I took a q-tip to it, pain shot out of my head. I'm wigging out on the inside and about to lose it on the outside and that's when I go have a talk with my boss and cry my head off. (They are being unbelievably supportive in ways I shouldn't publicly blab about but I will say that I LOVE THEM and will gladly tattoo S\W on my face they rock so hard.)
So then the docs decide to change my meds.
Cut to me taking new meds and DYING from the pain because there's no relief at all from the head pain, but it did come with an added bonus of back pain and extra exhaustion. I cried/slept most of Wednesday and Thursday, then called the docs back and told them THIS ISN'T WORKING FIX ME NOW. They ask me if I'm also taking the narcotic pain reliever at the same time. No, I'm not. Then they say, "Oh, well you can take that to supplement the new meds b/c the new meds take a few days to start working."
0_o
I was in HELL and they totally could have told me this before.
They doubled my dosage of the new meds. And told me it would be fine if I also took an allergy med (I was under the impression I wasn't allowed, kaythx for the mixed message.) which made me feels loads better b/c everything hurt and I didn't know the difference between sinus pain and surgery pain because my entire head was one giant ACHE.
I took the double-dose of new meds last night and was promptly knocked on my ass, hallucinating and everything. Okay, that's a little over the top, no? So now I'm back to taking my original dose, allergy medication and supplementing with Lortab and I'm back to a level 2 in pain for a good part of today (Level 4, for the rest of it). Which is manageable. I have to get my sleeping back on track because I pass out during the day (uncontrolled) and can't sleep at night for the twitching side effects and insomnia.
So yeah. This week sucked ass. I'm beat, tired, achey and all around miserable. There's another reason, and if you log-in so you can read my private entries, you'll see it there.
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May 27th, 2009
12:50 am - Meet Goose
I'll tell you guys all about the SHITTY day I had today where everything culminated into a proverbial big, steamy pile of poop. Poop with a side of headache and exhaustion.
But today? Today we celebrate:
G O O S E
My first-ever, brand-spanking new car. 2009 Volkswagen Rabbit. Drives like a dream. I love, love, love this ride. After driving The Beast (lovingly known as The Professor, my 1995 Nissan Pathfinder) for what, 7 years?, I can say I was ready for this upgrade for a long, long time.
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May 25th, 2009
10:34 am - Memorial Day
I hope everyone takes a moment to remember a soldier today. It's easy to blur the details on why we're all able to enjoy the freedoms we do, but it was all fought for and earned on the backs of these fallen heroes. I'm reflecting on Michael Green. He lit up this world for so many, for so short a time. And man did he love boating, drinking and that gorgeous sun shining today.
http://projects.washingtonpost.com/fallen/dates/2008/jan/07/michael--l-green/
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May 21st, 2009
11:29 am - Wicked!
Just scored awesome seats for WICKED and I'm so excited about it. We're going to have to make it a full night of dressing up, fabulous food and Broadway entertainment. I can't wait!
***
Got two more bookshelves at Ikea yesterday, plus a TON of wooden hangers to upgrade out of plastic and wire and then a gorgeous pair of platform summer sandals at Banana Republic for a *steal* of a price.
***
Dreamed about an earthquake last night. It felt so weird, like water waves bobbing underneath the floor. It wasn't a big one, but it was very real in my head and I had to really work at keeping my panic at bay. It was probably because ...
***
Over pizza @ Homeslice last night, Daniel and I had the most ... interesting conversation. I can't say much more than that (except on ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) staysassy, keeper of all secrets) other than the following: Wow...omg...srsly... and WOW. More to come when I have permission to divulge.
Right now, headaches and all, I'm happy with life. Sure I'd be happier without the chronic pain and exhaustion and the mini-breakdowns I (silently!) have when I can't stand having the pain (because really, one can only take this for so long before one loses it). But I'm happy. I am. Things are coming together in my head in ways they haven't in a long time. And the bigger picture is getting clearer.
☆Bless.☆
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May 19th, 2009
09:56 am - Does this make me an "other"?
In my dream last night:
There were about twenty of us girls who were being held hostage in an abandoned house. They kept saying they'd let us go once the money got there (ransom, I assume). Kidnappers were a group of guys and Ana-Lucia (Michelle Rodriguez). Once my fellow captives started disappearing one by one, I was able to get a couple of minutes with Ana-Lucia for a game of volleyball. I asked her to level with me, were they going to kill us? She said yes. So I told her I was pregnant and to please spare me, give me a 5 minute head start on running away. I ended up running in to a Holiday Inn and begging them to put me in a room and call the cops but keep it on the down low. Once I was in the room I shoved the mattress and desk and chairs in front of the door and called 911. The kidnappers started banging on the door and shooting through it. That's when I woke up. Terrified.
I've been taking higher doses of the painkillers lately (been getting bad headaches), esp. last night when I accidentally slammed my head wound into the steel-reinforced corner of the window/wall. NOT SMART.
More painkillers = weird dreams.
***
The company I work for was named Agency of the Year by Black Entertainment Magazine.
http://www.blackenterprise.com/be-100s/be100s-articles/2009/05/10/advertising-agency-of-the-year-sweet-science/
Look at that 4-year growth! 38 million in billings to 111.8 million. We're so awesome it hurts!
***
Just got the new Tori Amos album. Listening now and loving it.
♡
Current Music: Starling — Abnormally Addicted to Sin — Tori A
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May 17th, 2009
05:12 pm - Photo session with Hobbs
So I broke a nail. Seen here. Clearly this means I have to cut the rest and that is 18 kinds of lame because my nails have never been this long.:
Evil Hobbs is sitting next to me, plotting my death. Which leads me to...
Hobbs — A retrospective
( Cut for awesomeness. )
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May 16th, 2009
12:32 pm - List of things I need to post about:
meeting new friends with entirely different agendas than old friends
sobriety
awkward piercing moments
conversations about homeschooling
dog hunting
essays vs. short stories
magazines
Right now I'm too busy sitting on the patio, watching the rain, stealing kisses from my love and drinking multiple cups of hearty English tea.
In the meantime, here's Hobbs saying, "FML."
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May 13th, 2009
11:36 am - Frankenhead.
I have a headache that I've had since last night so I'm proofing from home today.
And while I'm here in bed (still in my sleepy clothes, at noon.), I'm reading up on a LJ-community that's always going (and always awesome) and one post was about study abroad. That, in turn, brought up memories of Berlin and Ireland and taking writing courses and going into all those wonderful shops where I didn't know half the things on the shelf. Makes me itch for travel and itch even harder for taking a writing course.
Also, these meds make me itchy like a crack addict, so I'm not going to read too much into my scratching.
Maybe there's a UT course I an audit? I don't want to take on the course load of getting a Masters. Not now, when I'm just happy to be back at my wonderful job. But I want to get some short stories out my frankenhead. Sure, I could just sit down and write them right here, right now. But I operate so much more efficiently on a deadline. With a teacher whose work I can secretly mock out of spite.
I'm just feeling antsy (a word which, no matter how many times I write, I always want to write as, "ancey.") because I felt that after this surgery, I'm meant to do something else. Something more grandiose than what I'm doing right now. I mean, yeah, I should heal first and get to where I can stay awake an entire day without a nap or painkillers. But it's nice to daydream. Sort out my options. Think on it.
What I also need is a Web designer who can put together a non-livejournal blog for me. Something like pamie.com, dooce.com. Not a DIY one, and it needs to be modern-clean in design, photo heavy and with the ability to import 8 years of this one into it. Also, I'd like to not pay a shit ton. I wish people needed proofing trade.
LOST.
The season finale is tonight and I'm PSYCHED like whoa. I only wish my man would be back from NYC in time to watch it with me. Le Grand Sigh. I'm having a small (like, tiny) watch party anyway. I can't wait! Here's to hoping my head will give me a break by then and I can watch it without going "ow ow ow" every 10 minutes!
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May 12th, 2009
11:50 pm - Format
Steve Earle just released his tribute album to Townes Van Zant today. My question is do I buy the cd or buy the download? I really only listen to my iPod or iPhone or music on my laptop. When we play music on our sound system, it's through our Blu ray which can be either a physical disk or mp3. So it doesn't really matter. I mean, we're not talking vinyl quality here.
I know the end of CDs as a music format is nigh. I don't know if I'm ready to commit to pure digital, though. I suppose I could tip my decision to buy local and just go to Waterloo tomorrow. I know, I know. first world problem. That's right. I don't post for two weeks then I babble incessantly about silly indecision. Clearly I need to go back to sleep now. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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imzadi22's journal
